Lately, well actually for about the past year, I have become more and more disgruntled about the way the wedding industry is portrayed. It seems brides-to-be and their grooms-to-be and families think the industry it out to get them. I have heard of people telling others to not tell vendors you are planning a wedding and you will get a better rate. Uh, no. Whether I plan your wedding, your vow renewal or your Sweet 16 the time I spend on it is the time I spend on it. My cost to you does not vary because the event varies. The same goes for vendors. Food costs what it costs. The more food you need, the more involved the process becomes. Would you like to have your caterer have only two people on staff to prepare your 200 person dinner reception meal? Chances are the quality and timeliness will be greatly compromised. Your chef is going to need more staff on hand to prepare this event. More staff means more money, plain and simple.
As a wedding planner, I work very hard on my education and abilities for my clients. I spend a great deal of time with my brides and that time is compensable. I have never been, nor will I be, a wedding planner who compromises her time and talent just to get the sale. We will not offer you a discount on our services when you come to us and say we are too expensive. To me, that tells you that I do not value my services. How can I expect you to value them? We are not $500 wedding day-of-coordinators. No, my staff and I are going to do our dead-level best to ensure you have a fabulous wedding day. We are the first ones in and the last ones to leave. For our Month-Of brides (we do not do only day of, it is impossible) we work with you between four to six weeks beforehand to tie up loose ends, complete your layouts, develop your timelines (and more) and then we orchestrate your wedding rehearsal as well as spend 12-16 hours with you on your wedding day. That is now and forever will be worth more than $500. The same ideal holds true for other wedding vendors. Liene Stevens of Blue Orchid Weddings wrote a great blog post on this in 2007. You can read it here.
What should be realized is that you are spending a great deal of money in a compacted amount of time. Not even when you purchase a house do you see $10K, $15K, $40K flowing from your pockets so quickly. Therein lies the stress. Once you realize the fact that it is a simple shock to the system (read:wallet) of what you are doing, you will be better able to handle the process. So, just breathe and allow yourself to enjoy your planning process. If you need to cut back, cut back. But do not go in with gloves on to vendor appointments. Your wedding vendors want you to have as great a day as much as you want to have one. We are on your side.
